AGE:            37
        LOCATION:       British Columbia, Canada
        
        Beano is the Most Loved Person on Lamdba, without a doubt. Ok,
        ok.... she's not on very often. Just often enough to have her fans
        begging for more.  Anyway, she's a geezerly 37 and you can often
        find her sipping Geritol at the keyboard. She lives in BC Canada
        on a little island and owns a rubber duckie.
        
        Her mood changes with seasons and is known by the following
        alter-egos which continues to grow until she runs out of quota.

                Lambda Aliases: K_Mart_Shopper, Slobber,
              Jumping_Bald_Headed_Jesus, Free-Flowing-Pus, Wonder_Weiner,
              98_Bottles_of_Beer_on_the_Wall, Auntie_Establishment, X-Lax,
              Cheese-Whip, Time_For_Her_Medication, Limp_Dishrag,
              KY_Jelly_Baby, Charles_Atlas, Circus_Freak, Barq's, Boo-boo,
              Nails_On_A_Chalkboard, 2_Drunk_2_Fuck, CheeseBurger,
              Chastity_Belt, Dribble_Glass, Your_Amateur_Proctologist, 
              Your_Amateur_Gynecologist, gyno, 10-lb-Testie, Bearded_Clam,
              One_Eyed_Trouser_Trout, and Teen_Pussy.

                Lambda morphs: I_Brain_Eater, BigButt, BananaHammock, Ocean',
               Jumping_Bald_Headed_Jesus, Pleasant_Pat, Velleda,
               Wonder_Weiner, Open_Running_Sores, Free-Flowing-Pus,
               10-lb-Testie, The_Most_Beautiful_Woman_In_The_World, Boo-boo,
               Moby_Dick, Brain_Sex, KFC, Kentucky_Fried_Chicken,
               Buster_Gonads, Rubix_Cube, Hairy_linoleum, Wanker, Stiffy,
               Boner, X-Lax, Nausea_Vomitus, Auntie_Flatulent, 6_Nipples,
               2_Drunk_2_Fuck, K_Mart_Shopper, Slobber,             
               98_Bottles_of_Beer_on_the_Wall, Auntie_Establishment,
               Cheese-Whip, Time_For_Her_Medication, Limp_Dishrag,         
               KY_Jelly_Baby, Charles_Atlas, Circus_Freak, Barq's,   
               Nails_On_A_Chalkboard, CheeseBurger, Chastity_Belt,          
               Dribble_Glass, Your_Amateur_Proctologist,              
               Your_Amateur_Gynecologist, Chopped_Liver,
               Kicks_Guests_in_the_Shins, Big_Giant_Dork,              
               Evil_Vile_Nasty_&_Rude, On_The_Rag, Full_Grown_Gnome,        
               One_Eyed_Trouser_Trout, Bearded_Clam, Canned_Cream_Corn,    
               Really_Horny_Hot_Chick, Asshole_Guest, Gnomeilicious,        
               Mere_Shadow_of_my_Former_Self, Bwano, Fuck_the_Magic_Gnome,  
               Dick_Tator, Brand_New_Hymen_from_Blamo!, Evil_Step-Mother,
               Route_666, I've_Fallen_&_I_Can't_Get_Up_Guest, A-Shrubbery,  
               Beanster, Praise_Cheese-its, Colon_Blow,              
               Stoned_AND_Stupid_Guest, Human_Pinata, Howdy_Doody,          
               Spit_or_Swallow?, Slut_O_Rama, Jenna_Tailia,
               Involuntary_Manslaughter, Flaming_Fetus, Multiple_Personality,
               Sperm_Receptacle, Short_Fat_Bald_Man_with_Hairy_Palms,
               An_Annoying_Puppet, Bowl_Of_Puddin'_Luv, Beanoa,
     My_Husband_is_fucking_someone_else_and_all_I_got_was_this-Lousy_t-shirt,
               Loki's_Groupie, Virtual_Virgin, Hurl, Teen_Pussy, Viagra_Man,
               Viagra-Junkie, I_Think_Therefore_I_Spam, Festering_Gob,
               Deep_Throat, Kiki_Dee, Spicy_Bean_Dip, Mangos_In-Syrup,
               Horny_Hungry_Revolting_Guest, Loki's_Penis,
               The_Girl_of_100_Morphs, Opus's_Orifice,
               Gator's_Grizzled_Gopher_Guts, Restrained_Slut, Flatworm,
               Meano, Ants_in_my_Pants, Staphylococcal,
               Saving_Herself_4_Robert_Plant, The_Cat's_Ass, Hot_Stuff!,
               Party_in_my_Pants, I_Hate_Fucking_Christmas, Annie_Sprinkle,
               Lag!, Anti_Beano, Enormous_Cranium, Splurt!, and Beano.